Lolly Ink :: Blog

January 12, 2013
Lolly Ink Blog Has Moved ... by Lolly Ink

The Lolly Ink blog has moved to the Empower Network.

The blog is updated daily, so check it out!

Posted at 09:21 AM

January 28, 2009
How to Win the Australian Open ... by Mandy

Playing sports is my specialty. Strength and endurance are key factors in most sports. With Age Control™ a sports person can increase their strength and endurance over the course of play, instead of getting weaker.

Take Jelena Dokic, for example. She had a pretty average match last night. She didn't deserve to win the second set. She looked tired and definitely lacked concentration as she made a slew of unforced errors.

Yet a grand slam tennis tournament, like the Australian Open, need not be like that. The match should be about skill, not lack of sleep and heat exhaustion. I'm sure Bruce would agree that a bit of SIM would have been welcome in Melbourne for the past week and a half, to create equal comfortable playing conditions for all players.

Posted at 10:52 AM

January 21, 2009
United States Presidential Inauguration ... by Olivia

Well, the United States presidential inauguration is well underway. Most interesting is the number of police and security personnel required - in their thousands - to cover the vast area of Washington, D.C., that is affected by the event.

The new president, Barack Obama, says he doesn't fear attacks, and has complete confidence in the security team.

Yet the whole idea of security would be totally unnecessary if the government were to hire the services of Lolly Ink. Using Period Control™, the team at Lolly Ink can use future protection technology to remove all risks, to provide a smooth worry-free inauguration event.

And if those in charge were to worry about ill health affecting proceedings, such as Ted Kennedy displayed, then simply apply Age Control™ to each official in the party for the duration of the event.

Posted at 9:15 AM

January 20, 2009
If I Could Do Anything At All (Part 2) ... by Johnny, Bruce, Desmond, Natasha, Mandy, Olivia & Holly

Each member of Lolly Ink was asked the question:

   If you could do anything at all, what would you do first?

Here are their replies:


Well, if Lolly Ink hadn't been created yet, I would definitely create Lolly Ink. But since that's been done, I guess I would like to learn everything that has been learnt by humans.

First I would use Period Control™ to stop time. It's going to take a long time to learn everything, and I don't want to miss out on my future.

Then I would use Duplication™ to duplicate myself every time I came across something new that I need to learn. I would create Instances so that everything which is learnt is shared with each of myself.

At the end of my learning journey I would unduplicate myself and start time again. Then the world is my oyster. I could get any job I want. I could go on any game show and answer all the questions. I could tell you where Osama Bin Laden is. In fact, ask me any question, and I could answer it instantly. Ask me to do anything, and I could do it.


What would I do first? Hmm ... I would go back in time before I met Olivia, and fall in love much earlier than we did.


I thought we could do anything using Lolly Ink, can't we? So what do you mean "if"?


I want to be the most beautiful woman in history - past and future.

How would I achieve that using Lolly Ink? That's easy! I would create a magic mirror, and every day I would ask the question "Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?" Then the mirror would tell me if a new beauty has arisen, more beautiful than I. Then I would visit her, and discover her beauty, copy it and improve on it.


Fix every problem in the world. Not instantly, just one at a time, but swiftly and accurately, with immediate solutions.


I'd like to create my own planet, and do it properly this time. No hunger, no disease, no bad things at all.


I want to be the best athlete in the world. Every race I enter I want to win. I would start at my local running events, slowly get recognition as I competed at larger events, finally competing for my country at the Olympics, and winning in record time.

I think I'd like to compete in the 5K and 10K races. They're my favourite. But outside the Olympics I'd also run in cross country events, and longer road races. But not the Marathon. I don't see the point of running that far for so long. Too boring to watch.

Posted at 3:07 PM

January 19, 2009
If I Could Do Anything At All (Part 1)... by Bruce & Natasha

Hey Tash!

Hey Bruce! How are you going?

Great! How are you?

I'm doing just fine.

What are you working on?

I just got an email from a client wanting to know what she could do with the help of Lolly Ink. What should I reply?

Just ask yourself the question "What would I do if I could do anything at all?"

Hey, that's a great answer. I'll use that. Isn't that a song?

Yeah! "If I Could" by 1927.

Ah yes. That's a great song!

Posted at 2:53 PM

January 14, 2009
A Better Way of Doing Things ... by Mandy

There are so many problems in the world with no solutions. Attempts at solving dilemmas more often than not result in half measures.

Lolly Ink has a better way of doing things. When we tackle problems we come up with a full 100% solution, with preventative measures in place.

Let's take the modern Oil Crisis as an example. Lolly Ink has several ways of solving this problem once and for all.

  • Duplicate a barrel of oil again and again - you'd never run out of oil.
  • Transform every engine that relies on oil into a perpetual motion machine.
  • Use Period Control™ to travel back in time to introduce technologies to the world sooner, such as wind and solar energy, hydrogen powered engines, etc. This will cause these technologies to now be so advanced that the reliance on fossil fuels is far less, and there would be no crisis.

Whatever problem assigned to Lolly Ink, we are able to tackle it and solve it, using any or all of our specialised divisions.

Posted at 9:18 AM

January 9, 2009
Recording of a Lolly Ink Meeting ... by Johnny, Bruce, Desmond, Natasha, Mandy, Olivia & Holly

This is a recording of part of a Lolly Ink meeting held several years ago. It may be of interest to you to witness the dynamics within the team and their dedication to the company.

Who's turn is it to control the meeting?

It's Bruce's turn. Where is Bruce?

He'll be here in a sec. I saw him printing off the discussion schedule.

Sorry I'm late. I was just printing the schedule for the meeting. Take one and pass them around.

We were starting to get worried about you baby. I was about to volunteer to do a search and rescue mission.

You two can't be trusted alone together! We'd be waiting all day for you to return.

OK, OK! Let's get on with the meeting. We have some important things to discuss.

Yes, Natasha is right. Let's get started. First off we will all give progress summaries on each of our divisions. Let's start with Olivia, since she is trying to be funny today.

Mmm, thanks Bruce. OK. Mind Control™. My team have been trialling reading the minds of people who don't speak English. We've been able to filter out the language element of thought, and have found that about 98% of all thinking done in the brain is visual. There also seems to be a subconscious translation of language, both said and heard, into visual content. So now we are developing ways for the mind reader to be able to understand all spoken language; so long as the speaker is nearby.

Wow! We won't be able to get one past you any more, Olivia. We have a super spy in our midst!

Shh! Don't tell anyone!

OK, thanks Olivia.

Your'e welcome, baby.

Hmm. OK. Mandy! You're very quiet this morning. Why don't you stop staring at Desmond and give us your progress summary.

I can't help it if I'm in love.

Oh Mandy, come on! This is meant to be a formal meeting.

It's really my fault. I'm just far too handsome today.

OK, OK! Remember the meetings are going on record, and we don't want to have to filter out too many lies.

Hear, hear!

OK. I'll give my report on Age Control™.

Thankyou Mandy.

Desmond is more handsome today because he is 2 years younger than he was yesterday.

What? You applied Age Control™ to Desmond? I thought you weren't ready for human trials yet.

Well, we weren't really ready. But Desmond insisted, so how could I resist?

Yeah we know!

I was only going to make him 2 months younger, but something went wrong, and he "came out of the oven" 2 years younger. I was too scared to reverse the process in case I made another mistake.

I'm not complaining.

We are!

OK, thankyou Mandy. It's great to see we have a willing test subject for your fine work, which will one day make us all immortal.

No worries.

Natasha. Would you like to give us your progress summary please.

Sure! Well, yesterday my Period Control™ team and I travelled to New Year's Eve 1899 to see what sort of celebrations were going on. We now have a searchable archive on our web site of every event that occurred in major cities around the world, including 1,400 hours of HD video footage (in colour of course), plus several free roaming interactive environments.

Sounds like a lot of work Tash.

Time is on our side, Johnny. We like to create the complete package in our division.

What sort of revenue do you expect to get from this new resource?

Well, there's a lot of unique historic footage which both governments and societies would be interested in. So I wouldn't be surprised if we could make about $200,000 a month licensing the material.

Not bad for a day's work, Natasha. Thankyou for your report. Holly! Why don't you give us your progress summary.

OK, thankyou Bruce. Our Creativity™ division has been developing a random story generator for future Lolly Days. It still needs a bit more work to add parameters, but we do have a model that is spitting out millions of unique stories which we can start using straight away. Currently we have enough unique stories to last us the next 7 million years.

Sounds great! Let's just use the ones where I'm on the winning team!

As you wish, darling!

No way, Holly! We will be inspecting your code, so make sure its kept Open Source. No tampering with the random generator.

OK, thankyou Holly for your report. We still have Johnny, Desmond and myself to give our reports. Johnny, you're next.

Thankyou Chairman Bruce!

<snicker>

My vife! Transformation™ has undergone a recent transformation.

<snicker>

My vife! Control yourself! We have been applying our vast knowledge to a conglomeration of past test subjects, revisiting each until success is met. So far we have progressed 76% of completion.

Thankyou Johnny. As always your reports are succinct, informative and respectful. Desmond, if you would please give us your progress summary.

OK. Duplication™. I haven't been able to duplicate a single thing.

Not even the $2 coin?

My favourite experiment? No, not yet. I'm at wits end. We've studied Natasha's footage of Jesus feeding the multitudes, but we just can't work out how he does it.

Perhaps we could ask him directly.

I think that's too risky. He might get suspicious and think we're in it for personal gain.

Well we are, aren't we?

It's not just for ourselves. It's for everyone that ever lived, and will ever live.

Yes, but our plans do conflict with God's plans.

Ours are better.

True, but Jesus wouldn't see it that way.

Well maybe we could read his mind to see how he does it. I could go along with Natasha and record his thoughts.

I'll come too. It sounds like a good plan.

OK, thankyou Desmond. And finally, what everyone's been waiting for, the report from yours truly. Well, SIM™ (or for the records Sensory Interaction Manipulation™) has finally made its mark on the field. We now have fair play football matches, where the focus is on the ball, not the ankles of the opposition.

So no more red cards?

Red cards are no longer part of the game. Its impossible to be carded.

That's excellent, baby! You're a genius!

Thanks!

...

OK, that wraps up our meeting. Let's have lunch. Johnny, where in the world are you taking us for lunch today?

Well, today I thought you would all enjoy lunch in Cannes at Gaston-Gastounette.

Excellent! I hear they have an excellent view.

And menu!

Posted at 2:53 PM

January 8, 2009
Early Days of Duplication™ ... by Desmond

When Lolly Ink started 9 years ago, I never imagined it would be so difficult to implement Duplication™. Years of research yielded no answers to the mysteries surrounding my field of inquiry. But I kept at it, and finally my persistence paid off.

There are some secrets of Lolly Ink that I cannot reveal to you. Not every member of Lolly Ink knows these secrets either. The revelation of these secrets could cause a rift in our company.

I will say this though. I have implemented Duplication™ without the ethical dilemma that faced Hugh Jackman's character in The Prestige. I have the ability to duplicate and unduplicate. Duplicates that I no longer want can be removed from existence without having to destroy them. I use more of an undo approach with the help of Natasha's Period Control™ technology.

I can reveal parts of the Duplication™ memory map (created using FreeMind Get FreeMind) below.

One of the most interesting aspects of Duplication™ technology is in the type of duplication applied. There are 3 types, as seen in the memory map above, which are:

  • Copy
  • Instance
  • Reference

Creating a Copy means that the copy is totally independent of the original. Changes made to the original do not affect the copy and vice versa.

Creating an Instance means that changes made to the original or the instance affect both.

Creating a Reference means that changes made to the original affect the reference, but changes made to the reference do not affect the original.

Posted at 11:27 AM

Dreams ... by Johnny & Holly

I had a nice dream last night.

Tell me about it.

I was sitting in the audience and you got up to speak. The first thing you said, as you looked directly at me, was "I love you Johnny". I couldn't stop looking at you.

Wow!

Then you would speak a sentence in English, and then translate it into Chinese! Quite strange.

How interesting.

I've always thought you had a slight Chinese appearance to your face. At least some sort of Asian characteristics.

Thankyou Johnny. I'm flattered. What I said in your dream is true. I do love you.

I love you too. But I had a feeling during the dream that the only way you could tell me that you loved me was by standing up in front of the audience and saying "I love you" to me. Before then you hadn't been able to express your feelings to me. And it was like I didn't know you loved me the way I loved you until you said the words.

Wow! Such deep thoughts going on in your dreams, Johnny.

Yeah. The ol' brain was certainly doing alot of processing last night.

Dreams sure can be strange and unexpected. Who would have thought that the events of the day could lead to a dream like that? And what is the meaning of the dream? Do dreams have to have a meaning? Probably not. Dreams are just a bunch a thoughts that get cross-wired together, and to make sense of the jumble we form a story out of it.

Do dreams have a place in Lolly Ink? They sure do.

Every week, after Lolly Day, the 7 members of Lolly Ink go to sleep. It is the only time during Lolly Week that we need rest. We don't really need rest, because we never get tired. However, we choose to sleep so that we can dream.

We use the opportunity to dream so that we can come up with new ideas that we could never think of by conscious thought alone. Dreams have the ability to access thoughts beyond our own imaginations.

Even though I'm the head of the Creativity™ division in Lolly Ink, I always welcome the input of the other members. We always have an interesting discussion after sleeping.

Posted at 9:20 AM

January 7, 2009
Creativity™ ... by Holly

Welcome to Lolly Ink! My name is Holly and I am the head of the Creativity™ division.

Posted at 5:25 PM

Mind Control™ ... by Olivia

Welcome to Lolly Ink! My name is Olivia and I am the head of the Mind Control™ division.

Posted at 5:24 PM

Age Control™ ... by Mandy

Welcome to Lolly Ink! My name is Mandy and I am the head of the Age Control™ division.

Posted at 5:23 PM

Period Control™ ... by Natasha

Welcome to Lolly Ink! My name is Natasha and I am the head of the Period Control™ division.

Posted at 5:22 PM

Duplication™ ... by Desmond

Welcome to Lolly Ink! My name is Desmond and I am the head of the Duplication™ division.

Posted at 5:21 PM

Sensory Interaction Manipulation™ ... by Bruce

Welcome to Lolly Ink! My name is Bruce and I am the head of the Sensory Interaction Manipulation™ (SIM) division.

Posted at 5:20 PM

Transformation™ ... by Johnny

Welcome to Lolly Ink! My name is Johnny and I am the head of the Transformation™ division.

Posted at 5:19 PM

January 2009

Wednesday, 28th

Wednesday, 21st

Tuesday, 20th

Monday, 19th

Wednesday, 14th

Friday, 9th

Thursday, 8th

Wednesday, 7th

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(Lolly Ink has also designed Dave's Hedge 'n' Shrub and Education Online New Zealand)